What In The Sam Hell Is It?
Think of a York Peppermint Pattie... mmm... mmm... mmmmmade out of sausage.
Now take that York Peppermint Sausage Pattie in your mind, break it in two, and roll into links.
At this point you should be picturing York Peppermint Sausage Links. Two of them. And your hand should be slimy (yet minty) from all that rolling.
Okay, now take a magical straw (if you don't have a magical straw, a crack pipe will work) and suck all the sausage out of those York Peppermint Sausage Links.
VERY IMPORTANT: DO NOT LET THE SAUSAGE TOUCH YOUR TONGUE OR THE INSIDE OF YOUR MOUTH! IT WILL BE HIGHLY TOXIC! If contact occurs, flush immediately and thoroughly with paint thinner. If you own plastic Biblical figurines, now would be a good time to lick them.
Dispose of the sausage at once. (I recommend throwing it at the side of a church. I videotaped a man throwing a pork sirloin roast at the side of a church once. The sound of meat hitting buildings = Breathtaking.)
The new 3 Musketeers Mint with Dark Chocolate bar(s)!
But Ryannnnn... Is It Good?
Sure it's good. Especially if you've ever found your mouth full of York Peppermint Pattie and all you can think is, "Why's the bastard gotta be so flat?"
No points for originality. Lots of points for being a delicious rip-off.
(3 1/2 Evil Swan Doilies out of 5 Evil Swan Doilies)
The New 3 Musketeers Mint: a little bit swoopy.